Some words from the training camp...

I'd like to put down a few words as a new and for all intents and purposes, naive PCT, when my ideals are high, inspirations are rolling and the various encounters with failed projects, unattended charlas and other various fracasos are only stories from the other side.

I'd like to go back a minute to the imperfect tense of time when I lived in the US. When I was back in the States, I carried various notions of the Peace Corps experience. For many years I thought it was an untouchable experience for me, something incredible and challenging and life-changing but way beyond my capacity to manage successfully. I dreamed of living in a foreign land, speaking another language without Pena, making friends with dark-skinned natives, but I never thought that dream could be realized.

As the years progressed and my college experience and lifestyle became progressively more leftist I began to see the world through the critical idealist eye. Peace Corps! What a bunch of foreign US policy b.s. Trying to Americanize the world by teaching them English and pushing our capitalist, consumerist ways on the natives. Sending out these do-gooders to teach people how to save resources for the US so we can assure our supply of trees lasts for another generation of North American toilet paper users. PC was shunned and forgotten about and replaced with the truths, disappointments, cynicism and at times apathy of the various NGOs, political activism, and anti-government work and play of my life in college. PC was about as likely as me joining the military.

As college faded into the background and I faced the ups and downs of life in the work force from juice bars to data entry to environmental ed- I was slowly building up a "don't want to spend my life doing that" pile while inspirational career choices quickly vanished. Then one night in a darkly lit bar, where it seems all life's revelations are made in America, I listened to a stranger explain to me the process of applying to the Peace Corps. He was about to leave for Africa to live this incredible experience I had long since ruled out with my "well-informed critical world view." Maybe it was the beauty of his face, or the energetic high I was on from a great night out with good friends, or maybe it was the warm-fuzzies coursing through my blood from the Jack Daniels I was drinking, but slowly I realized I defiantly wanted to join the Peace Corps. Or rather, that I had to join, that I couldn't live my life without this experience. I wanted to get out of the country, away from my sheltered mostly mid-western life and see how the rest of the world lived. I wanted to know what life was really about and to gain some perspective on life outside the posh American consumerism. I realized, for whatever it was worth, that Peace Corps could offer me that experience and the a break in my life was essential at that moment,

And so, one year and four months later I am sitting on my Panamanian bed, provided to me by my Panamanian host family, listening to Panamanian baseball on the Japanese radio in the next room. Two days ago, having just left from my site visit, I realized exactly what it is I am doing here and exactly why even in the face of all its criticisms and underlying foreign policy, Peace Corps is and incredible thing. And it has almost nothing to do with my need for the experience.

The birth of the Peace Corps happened in the 1960s with the help of a young and inspired president JFK. 1960s was, even in the face of all the hindsight criticism, and "soldout" individuals, a decade of revolution and enlightenment. Young minds discussed the injustices of the world, protested the inconsistencies in international politics, explored the regions of the natural world and the depths of the mind. And with that exploration they found it's deterioration and its' corruption respectively. There in the midst of exploration and realization and inspiration the Peace Corps and my generation was born. As a result, here I sit, 30 years later, scratching my tropical bug bites with a pen cap and realizing the opportunity I have been given and the resources I have in my hand that will make it possible to change the course of a few families lives for the better, or at least to help ensure their continued survival.

What I realized about the Peace Corps I realized in one shining moment. One of those moments where the weight of the world bares down on you and the universe screams "Pay attention and take notes!" I was preparing to leave Cano Quebrado after a week long visit, saying my goodbyes with hand shakes and kisses on the cheek. As I approached Maria, the mother of the household I was staying with, she took my outstretched hand firmly, looked at me with a strong smile and said "Que le vaya bien y regresa pronto." It wasn't the words she said or even the way she said them, it was the way she looked at me that allowed me to see the story of her life in her eyes. The life of a 55 year old woman who has struggled her whole life to put food on the table, to clothe her children, and to protect her family from the illness the heavy rains may bring. A woman who despite her best efforts couldn't keep her children from suffering through the ill-effects of mal-nutrition, and couldn't keep her first born son from dying of cancer at the age of 25. A woman whose story is repeated many times over in numerous communities in every country around the world, including my own. In those eyes I realized the true state of the world and in those hands I realized the power and responsibility we have to change it.

And we do. We have the power, the knowledge, the resources right now, right in front of us to ensure the continued survival of every family on Earth. It doesn't take millions of dollars to make the world a survivable place. It takes TIME, and PATIENCE, and PEOPLE. It takes people who are willing to put down their remote controls, their pot pipes and their SUV car keys and give some of their time and knowledge to the rest of the world. Not their money, but their time.

"Hay mas tiempo que vida," goes the saying here in Panama. There is more life than time. Time will out live us all. The Earth will outlive us all. Poor families will out live pretty cars and luxuries and apathetic fatalism keeping people on their couches and sheltered from the world. Peace Corps Panama doesn't offer money or handouts, it's not about promoting the American lifestyle or American products, nor is it about saving the poor natives from their sorrowfully misguided and backwards lives. It IS about educated people with access to resources and connections helping others to improve their traditional ways in the name of survival. It is my belief and I believe the driving force behind many of those working with the Peace Corps that everyone in the world deserves at least this. The chance to survive and survive well. Everyone deserves human dignity.

So therein lies the challenges. The world as it stands now has the resources and the knowledge to create a sustainable life for every person. Moreover, as a nice side benefit that knowledge also can create a sustainable life for the Earth and every creature and plant therein. We have this knowledge in our societies now because we have the knowledge on how to look for new solutions and experiment with new ways of living. We know what it takes to grow enough food to put on our tables, we know what it takes to educated our children, we know what it takes to ensure the survival of the natural environment and therefore ourselves, we just haven't found the strength within ourselves to admit this nor the motivation to do something about it.

So this is how I find myself here, living in Panama working for the Peace Corps. The enlightenment and inspiration born in the 60s has not died, only evolved. And now we are not only fighting the injustices of the world but also the crushing apathy and indifference of an educated youth desensitized to the world's problems (but that's another discussion). Here I have found people who have admitted we have enough knowledge to help the world survive and who have the motivation to keep experimenting and looking for new ways to improve survival. To all those PCVs and other volunteers in other organizations working with this mentality, to share the knowledge and spread out the resource- SALUDOS! And to all those other- "Hay mas tiempo que vida." So next time you find yourself with time on your hands remember what Maria said as she gripped my hand and showed me the world in her eyes, "Que le vaya bien y regresa pronto." Live your life but don't forget to share it with those who need it most. Go find your Maria and open your eyes and your heart.